Do You Feel Distant and Lonely in Your Intimate Relationship?

Are there specific issues that come up again and again in your relationship and never seem to reach resolution? Does one partner tend to push for more conversations about emotional hurts and needs, while the other partner tends to feel overwhelmed by such conversations? Or, perhaps you are simply tired of feeling angry and emotionally drained by frequent arguments. It may seem like you’re walking on eggshells when you’re with your partner, and you no longer feel like a united, supportive team. Or, maybe a prolonged period of stress or a life-altering event, such as the birth of a child or a move, has brought more and more conflict and uncertainty to the surface.

These are common relationship problems that can prevent a couple from accessing the deep wells of care and sensitivity that created the peak of love once experienced together. Do you wish that you could openly express your needs and emotions to your partner while feeling heard and accepted? Do you long to experience an overall sense of security and trust in your relationship, allowing you both to feel connected, supported, and at ease in your lives?

Most Couples Face Challenges

Maintaining a fulfilling intimate relationship is an incredibly complicated and demanding undertaking. Despite the breathtaking love stories we encounter in movies and books, the truth is that a relationship doesn’t simply “work out” because you and your partner love each other. Just as a person can’t be an expert guitar player simply because he or she deeply loves music, neither can a person expect to be skilled in a relationship simply because he or she loves his or her romantic partner. Loving another is an incredibly fine-tuned art and skill that requires lifelong learning and practice. For many couples, getting assistance to improve relationship skills is a wise investment. An experienced couples counselor can provide a safe, nurturing, and unbiased environment for you and your partner to learn to manage emotional pains, practice new communication skills, and rekindle intimacy and connection in your relationship.

In touch with our wholeness, with a heart filled with love, there is no such thing as a stranger, not in ourselves or in others.
— Sharon Salzberg

Specialties for Couples

  • Emotionally Focused Therapy

  • Lack of intimacy

  • Lack of communication

  • Trust and abandonment issues

  • Excessive arguments

  • Pressure/ disagreements about key life decisions

Couples Therapy Can Help You Reignite the Sparks That First United You

It is common for people to blame themselves or their partners for the relationship challenges they face. But with help and support, you can come to see that the real blame lies not in any one person, but in unrecognized interaction patterns that are difficult to see. Once such patterns are clearly identified and acknowledged, you can embrace opportunities for increased connection and commitment, now and over the long-term.

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As a skilled couples counselor, it’s my job to help you overcome harmful interaction patterns that keep your relationship in conflict. I will help you reignite the feelings of admiration and excitement that first drew you and your partner together. And I will teach you the skills you need to engage with the present moment, clarify your experiences together, and restore calm when emotions run high.

In our work together, I will also use highly effective techniques from Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) to help you reestablish the close emotional and physical bond that shaped your cherished union together. EFT is supported by 30 years of rigorous research studies and based on “the most articulated, comprehensive, and extremely well researched understanding of adult love” (Johnson, 2015). With EFT, we will bring increased awareness to unmet emotional needs that you can’t quite find the words for on your own. In couples therapy sessions, I will help you directly experience what it is like to resonate fully with each other’s feelings and needs. And, I will help you develop the emotional intelligence and effective communication skills needed to navigate through future challenges on your own, as a loving, united team.

Rekindling a loving and sustained commitment with your partner is likely to be the most rewarding investment of time and money you could make. When your intimate relationship is secure and mutually nurturing, you can enjoy increases in mood and energy, become more resilient in the face of life challenges, and feel more confident in your ability to take risks. It is possible to bond with your partner and feel empowered, supported, and fulfilled in your life together.

I know how important it is for you to choose a therapist that you feel comfortable talking with, so I invite you to book a free, 20-minute phone consultation: here. Or, contact me directly to schedule a time, or to ask questions: You can ask any questions about couples therapy and my practice in Berkeley, CA (one block North of Oakland)Day and evening hours are available.