You may have questions or concerns about couples counseling
How can a stranger help us with these personal issues?
It’s normal to feel concerned about meeting with a stranger and revealing private details about your intimate relationship. However, the beauty of couples counseling is that it provides a safe and confidential space where your unique challenges will be met with compassion and expert facilitation of communication. Unlike most friends or family members, I will be objective and understanding. My experience as a counselor has made me proficient at recognizing the unique issues clients face, and has taught me to tailor treatment strategies that work.
Will you take sides in sessions?
One of my main objectives is to be fair and unbiased, and to encourage immediate feedback from you whenever you feel I don’t hold true to this commitment. My job is to be patient and fully understand the complexity of the problems in your relationship. After our initial sessions, we will see that no one partner is to blame. Instead, we will see that there are hidden interactive patterns in your relationship that are very hard to recognize on your own. These patterns are the real problem, and significantly harm your relationship. Therapy offers you a chance to tackle that problem as a team.
Our relationship problems are already so difficult. Is it possible couples therapy will make matters worse?
I take responsibility to ensure sessions are not overwhelmed by conflict and arguing, and instead focus on emotional healing and new communication skills. Therapy is best when it identifies qualities about the relationship that already work well, and harnesses those strengths even further. And, although not all couples decide to stay together, almost all of them leave therapy with increased feelings of peace and understanding.
Rest assured knowing that my therapeutic approach is backed by rigorous research, including recent findings in neuroscience and attachment theory that I directly incorporate into our work together. No matter what you are going through, it is possible for you to foster increased connection and intimacy in your partnership.
I invite you to call me at (510) 761-9818 for a free, 20-minute phone consultation. Day and evening hours are available. You can ask any questions you might have about couples therapy and my practice in Oakland, CA.
Specialties for Couples
Emotionally Focused Therapy
Lack of intimacy
Lack of communication
Trust and abandonment issues
Pressure/ disagreements about key life decisions